cloudy sunrise
i turned out the light at 2:30am. i tossed and turned and listened to sleep music and played endless games of solitaire on my iphone but could not sleep. as the clock neared 5 it started to get light outside, and since our porch is off my bedroom i decided i'd just watch the sunrise. since it's been raining the entire fucking month of june, it's no surprise that it's a cloudy sunrise which always feels like a rip off. as i sat down and lit a cigarette, i realized why i couldn't sleep.
roofgod just spoke to me for the first time in a long, long time [vividly in my head, not audibly in case you were wondering]. he basically told me that there's no point in believing in him if i'm not going to trust him. he said i look to other people instead of him to fix me or to be something redemptive in the midst of all my shit. he reminded me of how he sees me, his love which knows no condition, and that knowing those things should be enough.
yes certain things on my plate seem difficult at the moment, but in just a few early morning moments i feel much better, at peace. because after all, a cloudy sunrise is better than none.
roofgod just spoke to me for the first time in a long, long time [vividly in my head, not audibly in case you were wondering]. he basically told me that there's no point in believing in him if i'm not going to trust him. he said i look to other people instead of him to fix me or to be something redemptive in the midst of all my shit. he reminded me of how he sees me, his love which knows no condition, and that knowing those things should be enough.
yes certain things on my plate seem difficult at the moment, but in just a few early morning moments i feel much better, at peace. because after all, a cloudy sunrise is better than none.
posted by sf at 5:31 AM
2 Comments:
Sarah Rebecca,
Yes, my emotions are every where these days (blame it on Jenna Mae), but your post just made me tear up. I love your outlook and the fact that you know how much your roofgod loves you. I love you too!
love you fennies. keep on bloggin' my friend. remember when we used to live across the street from each other and hang out? that was fun times. we moved a little closer to you now. come see me! i wanna hear about you...and roofgod...and stuff.
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