as per usual, it's been a while. time has passsed, things got busy, i've been living. i would say i'm sorry, but [again, as per usual] i'm not. i'll do my best to fill in some highlights.
my back is much better, in case you were wondering. not somersault-on-the-great-lawn better, but test-out-things-at-the-gym better. i'm scared i'll soon run into sebastian again and will have to explain my absence at dolphin fitness.
in late march i met the bias [read: beeeeeahhhhs]. i'll explain. laura [treehouse neighbor, turned best friend] is a social worker at a women's rehab facilty in east harlem. they had a women's empowerment day that i was able to be a part of. they had speakers come to inspire, and a few of us randoms who were wallflowers for the most part. it's an incredible thing as a human being to be exposed to such an entirely different culture, even in your own fucking city, such that you are forced to get outside yourself. the women at dreitzer have dealt with shit i can't even imagine. they've dealt [and ARE dealing with] addiction, mental health issues, as well as trying to be mothers. as if the first two issues aren't enough. i spent the morning sitting with laura just observing. then it was time for lunch. laura got up from the table and instructed one of her bias to look after me.
we quickly found our common ground: a love of music. granted she leans more in the death metal direction, but still. she apparently used to be a music journalist. we talked about the industry. i encouraged her to write and to put some of her old work together in a portfolio. she put me on the spot and got my contact information, which laura quickly took away. later up in laura's office i got to hold her baby. she was tiny and warm and fell asleep scrunched on my shoulder. i know i always say i hate kids, but there is something about holding new life that gets to me. especially one who is living in a rehab so her mom can recover from her drug addiction. my mind was racing a mile a minute. thoughts of worry, moments of prayer, and awareness that i was running the risk of getting spit up on [which didn't happen, thank god]. to see laura in her east harlem rehab world was priceless. the bias all know that she has their numbers. you could just tell. it was an eye-opening experience, one which warranted chain smoking cigarettes for the rest of the day. i recently got a letter from this woman, hand delivered by social worker laura. a connection was made. she's crazy, there's no doubt, but i will not soon forget her and the perspective i gained that day.
next up was a week on the road with fan-tan, a brooklyn band i've started managing on my own. for starters i drove a fucking 12 passenger van from brooklyn to staten island through jersey. it was a definite "fake it til you make it" moment. i am not versed in driving the greater nyc area, but wanted them to know i had it. set the pace for the trip. plus i figured i learned how to drive in a chevy suburban, so i could probably handle a mack truck. the trip was a blast and probably just as you would imagine. way too much time in the car, lots of fast food stops, learning more about the four band members than i ever wanted to know, rolling down windows when one of them farted, driving through the night drinking coffee and smoking cigarettes to stay awake. we played four shows. the first two sucked. we, of course, were great, but the venues and local bands that we played with were sub-par. the second two shows were much better. washington dc was particularly fun for me because several friends came to the show, and we crashed at habs' mansion of a house. the best story came that night.
around 3am kuki [the drummer] and i were looking for a parking spot after unloading all our equipment into the house [theft prevention]. we pulled over to check out a potential spot, when this pregnant woman walked up to the window. i thought maybe she was in trouble or something so i rolled down the window. what came out of her mouth i'll never in my life forget. [read in a southern/african-american tongue] "yalllllldonwonmayyy? whatisyallllgayyyyorsumthin?". after picking our jaws up off the floor of the van, we quickly explained we were just trying to park. we decided it best not to park near our pregnant hooker friend, so we drove off dying laughing. sure it was sad, but one of the funniest things i've ever experienced. we quote her often. going on the road with them was a great experience. i learned quite a bit in a short time - about them as a band, as people, and about tour management, which is something i could be interested in for the future.
next up is hoffman entertainment. so i originally and technically lost my job. long story short, i never left. my boss is paying me to work 20 hours a week. i'm grateful for it. it's better than nothing. that being said, now that i'm just part time i'm only doing administrative bullshit, which is not going to fly. i need to find something else, there's just not much out there right now. again, i'm better off than my other co-workers that got let go, but i feel stuck. i'll wiggle out one of these days.
i currently find it challenging to balance responsibility and want. there is always something going on, something i can do besides what i should/need to do. tom and fan-tan aren't paying me [yet], but i feel very responsible for them and their ultimate success or failure. then there's hoffman. physically i'm there getting shit done, but i'm checked out a bit. i don't feel invested. i need to find a new job, but that somehow gets pushed to the backburner. and at the end of the day, no matter how much more i need to get done, all i want to do is sit on the porch with the rest of the treehouse dwellers and drink beer. it'll sort itself out. always does. let's just hope that i avoid liver damage and that tom and fan-tan get signed...
www.myspace.com/fantanmusicwww.myspace.com/tomloschiavo
