long way home

up until 45 minutes ago i was wearing the same clothes i wore yesterday. the bags under my eyes today rival the size of the one i carry on my shoulder. i was in desperate need of a shower, clean clothes, and some normal food. thanks to some bad weather in dallas, yesterday was one of the longest days of my life.

i was trying to get back to new york on a 3:20 flight out of austin and had to endure boarding one hour late, sitting on the runway for almost two, sitting on the runway for another half hour once we landed in dallas, hopping on a handicapped cart to take me to another terminal...all to be told that i wasn't going to make it, which i could've guessed considering we landed a fews hours past my departure time out of dallas. the next flight i could get on was this morning at 9:55. so i called and left messages at work saying i'd be (slightly) late, and my brother came and picked me up close to 11. we stopped to get me a toothbrush, and i slept on their couch in one of his nasty old t-shirts.

i woke up entirely confused, did my best to freshen up, and walked out the door just knowing that i looked like shit. i landed in new york around 2:30, and my estranged suitcase was waiting for me. i got in a cab, and the driver was one of those guys that must have been sick the day they taught how to accelerate properly at taxi driving school. to add insult to injury, traffic was ridiculous, and when he saw it was going to be a long ride he cranked up the indian music to a borderline obnoxious level. even though i knew i still had to go to work, all i wanted to do was get home.

home is a funny concept. the dictionary has an entire list of possible definitions, and it means different things to different people. to some it's where they grew up; to others it's where they lay their head. for some people home has a negative connotation, and others don't even have one. some of us, if we're lucky, have several places we consider home. i think for me home is sometimes more of an intangible quality - a feeling of comfort or familiarity. when i'm coming back to new york from a trip, i say i'm going home. i'm ready to get home. but then if i'm headed to austin for christmas, i say that i'm going home for christmas. at the end of the day, though, i consider home to be where i lay my head. it's where i want to go when i'm tired or sick or need to be alone.

on days like today when getting home was a process, it feels that much better to walk through the door. so now i'm clean and ready to sleep in my own bed. i'm home. and it's a good feeling.