so no one told you life was gonna be this way...

this week has just been one of those weeks. every morning has been a battle to get out of bed, and every day at work i just want everyone to leave me alone so i can pass the time by myself. each day someone has commented on how tired i look, which is real booster. i've been grumpy, unproductive, sardonic, and i've consumed way too much caffeine. it's made me wonder how i have friends, considering i've been such a joy this week.

last night i spoke with a friend from home who i haven't talked to in a really long time. he's three years younger, but we managed to become great friends my last year in high school and have kept up ever since. we had a mutual crush situation back then, but i couldn't bring myself to rob that cradle. at any rate, talking to him last night got me thinking about how funny friendship is.

when i survey the spread of people i'm friends with, i'm amazed and amused and how massive the span. i love reflecting on how certain friendships began, what drew me to that person in that moment in time. i often wonder how much choice we have in the matter. my cast of characters seems to have assembled (and continues to do so) in a way that is somewhat out of my hands. sure there are some friendships we pursue more than others and some that require more work and persistance than others, but i think the gravitation is natural and also unique to each friend.

the way in which dylan and i became friends when he was a mere freshman and i was a senior is completely different than the way i've fallen for a 45 year old black gay guy named earl or the way in which i manage to form friendships with girls who are loud and animated and like pink. the beautiful part is what each different individual friendship teaches you, about yourself and about them and about how to love. every friendship looks different, has its own style, its own way of communicating (some forms much stranger than others). friends help make us who we are, and it's not something i think about often enough.

friendship is an art. genesis and maintenance. now if you'll excuse me, i've got some hugs to give and some phonecalls to make...